I want to share an excerpt from a book, Emotional Agility – Get Unstuck, Embrace Change and Thrive in Work and Life, by author Susan David. In it, she writes: “When we don’t go directly to the source of our difficult emotions, we miss the ability to really deal once and for all with what’s causing our distress.”
She explains further with an example: “Supress the sadness under a veil of false cheer and you deny yourself the self-directional guidance, and maybe also the helping hand.”
Here I want to share about an adolescent whom I met about 2 decades ago. A 10th grader who approached me for treatment. His family wasn’t aware about his condition and he didn’t discuss anything with them before approaching me for help.
Back then, it was quite unusual for a school going kid, coming alone for a treatment and that too for a mental health condition. It was indeed, a tricky situation for me.
He was experiencing extreme exam stress. Preparing for exams was an arduous task for him and he found it hard concentrating in studies. He wasn’t able to retain what he studied and constantly worried about his future.
Fear of failure added to his already panicking state. He experienced constant low mood and sleep difficulties. Hopelessness & pessimism gripped him hard. Appearing for exams made him extremely nervous and he witnessed palpitations. Results made him even more anxious.
He craved for carbs and was gaining weight. He hesitated to discuss it with anyone, including his family members. He had no way to vent out his feelings. He hardly engaged in any sport or physical exercise.
Undeniably, there is intense pressure on children to excel academically in education system that puts excruciating demands on students to compete, score top grades, crack entrance exams. The pressure steadily keeps mounting as they progress through various stages of their academic life, intensifying with every passing year.
Listening to the child, I felt it as an SOS call from the child for help. But in this case, before starting any treatment, meeting his parents was of paramount importance. Encouraging him to speak to his family and bringing them along was the imminent next step.
I deeply appreciate the courage of this child to seek timely help, but I am a bit concerned about lack of openness in families to discuss about challenges that children face, in particular mental health issues.
Unlike then, mental wellness has become a topic of wide interest in India today and it enjoys wide media coverage. With several celebrities openly sharing their own experiences, the discussions around mental health are becoming mainstream.
Despite its popularity, mental health remains to be fully understood or recognized by people at large. Most common mental health issues people are struggling to deal with are grief, stress, anxiety and depression.
Most Indian families, still do not allow children to express their innermost feelings, forget expressing their negative emotions. In many families there is usually a lot of bickering with kids around their studies, exams, choices, preferences etc.
On the other hand, Indian students most part of their academic lives are focussed on studies, with many never pursuing any hobbies or activities of interest. And some are overly engaged throughout their academic lives.
Children in India are pushed into the intense pursuit of academic excellence, starting as early as ages 5-6 years, leaving them susceptible to anxiety attacks, low self- confidence, depression and suicidal tendencies in their growing up years.
The immense burden of lofty and unrealistic expectations of parents, teachers and society to perform well in studies hits the inner core of a child. The fear of disappointing their loved ones, let loose the demons of self-doubt and self-pity to punish these young minds ruthlessly.
They end up grappling with fears of failure, of not being able to keep up the fight, of dropping out of competition. Long solitary study hours and that constant nudge to outperform their peers leave these young lives isolated and disconnected with their own selves and others.
With a singular goal of scoring top marks/grades, children end up neglecting goals of self-care and self-development.
Pushed to relentlessly challenge their limits, children often pay high price in the form of compromised mental and emotional well-being. They end up having to deal mental health issues much earlier than their global counterparts.
My advice to parents/families – A listening ear, a little understanding, being present for them, engaging in difficult conversations, can make all the difference during these growing years. Timely professional help can help de-escalate damaging situations.
Adolescents go through a lot – raging hormones, rejections & failures, exam & performance stress, peer pressure & bullying, lack of outdoor play or physical activities, eating & sleeping disorders, neglect & loneliness, anger & conduct disorders, addictions and anxiety disorders, among others.
Seek homeopathic intervention without a second thought. Homeopathy is like that one-stop-solution for almost all adolescent health issues. With its highly individualized approach, it allows a homeopath to understand the unique mental health experience of each individual, as opposed to one-size-fits all conventional approach.
Homeopathy offers a complete system of treatment that considers how you think, how you feel, and how you experience mental health. It also considers the inter-relationship of your mental & physical health.
It has a wide range of remedies to suit the unique needs of adolescents, especially in dealing their specific mental and physical health issues. These remedies are safe, gentle, non-toxic, non-habit forming and side-effects free. Homeopathy offers excellent results when started early on, right at disease onset or early after detection.
A homeopath may not just provide you a list of remedies for your condition but a continuing nourishment to your spirits to navigate the difficult waters around your illness.
Why wait then? Experience the homeopathic bliss!
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